The Night Jill Went Crazy
by Snafu the Great
Summary: Parody of Weird Al's 'The Night Santa Went Crazy.' Revamped Version added.
1. Chapter 1

**The Night Jill Went Crazy**  
A Resident Evil One-shot Songfic  
By Snafu the Great

Disclaimer: Resident Evil belongs to Capcom Entertainment. The song 'The Night Santa Went Crazy' belongs to Weird Al.

Down at the RPD, it was a place of total suck

With zombies running wild and Chief Irons going nuts

When Jill busted in, nearly scared the cops to death

With a shotgun in her hands, and Cuervo on her breath

From her beret to her boots, she was covered in ammo

Like a pissed off, drunk, disgruntled female Rambo

She smiled as she said with that glint in her eye,

"Good evening, everyone...GET READY TO DIE!"

The night Jill went crazy

The night Valentine went insane

The straw had broken across her back

Something finally must have snapped in her brain

The police station's gone now

Thanks to Jill who had bombed it

Everywhere you'll find pieces

Of Chief Irons and Mayor Warren

She hogtied Rebecca, and held the Redfields hostage

And grounded up Al Wesker into Superman Sausage

She smoked Alexia and Alfred, with their own Golden Lugers

And chopped up Lord Spencer like she was Freddy Krueger

Then she whipped out a flamethrower,

And barbecued Ricardo Irving

After taking a bite she said, "Mmm, tastes like chicken!"

The night Jill went crazy

The night Dick's kid went nuts

Now you can't walk through the streets of Raccoon City

Without stepping in Hunters' guts

There's the UBCS and the FBI

Mikhail, Nicholai, Leon and HUNK are running for their miserable little lives

With the bullets a-flyin'

The body count's risin'

And everyone's dyin' to know

Oh, Jilly why...?

My, my, my, my, my, my,

What made you change into such a bad guy?

Yes, dear Sherry, Valentine's now doing time

In the state women's pen, for her violent crimes

No nookie for Chris, so you better dry your tears

'Cause Jill will be paroled...in 900 more years

Rebecca's now in therapy, and Billy's all nervous

And HUNK's resigned from the Umbrella Secret Service

As it turns out Dick Valentine is on the phone every night

With his lawyers negotiating the movie's rights

I'm talkin' about - the night Jill went crazy

The night Miss Valentine flipped

After getting screwed over in Raccoon City

Sounds to me like she was just tired of getting gypped

The night Jill went crazy

The night Valentine went insane

The straw had broken across her back

Something finally must have snapped in her brain

Something finally must have snapped in her brain

I tell ya, something finally must have snapped in her brain


	2. Revamped Version

Revamped Version

The first version was okay, but I thought I could do better. So here it is.

In Raccoon City, the situation looked real bad

With the zombies in the streets and Chief Irons going mad

When Jill came charging in, nearly scared the cops to death

With an AK in her hands, and cheap vodka on her breath

From her beret to her boots, nothing but guns and ammo

Like a drunk disgruntled, pissed-off female Rambo

She smiled as she said, the twinkle in her blue eyes,

"Good evening to you all...NOW GET READY TO DIE!"

The night Jill went crazy

The Night Valentine went insane

Realizing she's been getting the raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in her brain

The police station's gone now,

Thanks to Jill who had bombed it

In the ruins you'll find the corpses

Of Chief Irons and Mayor Warren

She hogtied the Burtons and held the Redfields hostage

And ground up Al Wesker into Superman Sausage

She hunted down Joseph Frost and blew apart Forest Speyer

She hacked up Ed Dewey like she was Michael Myers

Then she whipped out her grenade launcher and cooked Enrico Marini

And after taking a big bite she said, "Tastes like ravioli."

The night Jill went crazy

The night Dick's kid went nuts

Now you can't hardly walk through Raccoon City

Without stepping in Nemesis' guts

There's the UBCS and the BSAA

Sheva, Leon, Angela and HUNK, are ducking the rockets zooming their way

With the bullets a-flyin' the body count's risin'

And everyone's dyin' to know, 'Oh, Jilly why?'

My, my, my, my, my, my

What made you change into such a bad guy?

Yes, dear Sherry, Valentine's now locked away

In a women's asylum and that's where she's gonna stay

No nookie for Chris, so you better dry your tears

'Cause Jill will be released, in 900 more years

But now the Burtons are in therapy, and Rebecca's still nervous

Both Leon and Claire now work for Graham's Secret Service

And they say that Dick Valentine is on the phone every night

With his lawyers, negotiating the movie's rights

I'm talkin' about - the night Jill went crazy

The Night Miss Valentine flipped

Fed up with getting totally screwed over

Jill was tired of simply getting gypped

The night Jill went crazy

The Night Valentine went insane

Realizing she's been getting the raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in her brain

Something finally must have snapped in her brain

I tell ya, something finally must have snapped in her brain


End file.
